Oooooh That Smell, Can't You Smell That Smell!!!

     
In one of my previous posts, Seven Wonders Of The Train, I went over certain types of commuters that most of us would not shed a tear over if a strong gust of wind forced them off the platform and into an oncoming train.

Well folks.... I missed one...... The Big Foot!! Although I thought that I covered such douchery in it's entirety..... these types of people may need to be added to some sort of "Doucher of the week" post going forward.

       We've all had our days on the train when a few times there were fewer riders and sitting in a 4 or 5 seater presents the opportunity to kick your legs up on the seat and relax. We've all done it from time to time and eventually the conductor strolls through and asks you to take your feet of the seats. We slowly take them down until he or she is out of view and put them back up until we reach our stop, get off the train and go home for the evening. Well, the other morning, after a long night out, I catch a later train than usual and find myself sitting across Queen Bunion herself!!! Not only was she chomping down on a bran muffin and slurping down an iced coffee, she had her feet up on the seat with her shoes off.
       If you're feeling this level of comfort in public at around 7am in the morning, I can just imagine the office etiquette she portrays once she arrives at work. I'm taking the over on after lunch belching with intermittent ass scratching. I'd also predict the afternoon commuting forecast to include partly gassy with a 60% chance of loud cellphone use. Ok, ok, maybe I'm being a bit presumptuous. I think it may be the fact that the stench of feet, sound of slurping and view of a bran muffin crumb covered bunion queen was the last thing I needed to see in my hungover condition. Perhaps I should have just sat back and counted my blessings that I wasn't taking incoming toenail shrapnel if the clippers had come into play.
     I know it's been some time since I last posted and I don't want this to get lengthy but I have to add another run in with a The Big Foot. I was taking a later train home after a couple of beers with coworkers. The train was packed and the only seat open was next to this guy that was on his laptop in a 4 seater with his feet up on the seat and his bag in the seat next to him. Take into account that he was taking up 3 of the 4 seats with ass, feet and bag. To counter his selfish sprawling, I climbed over the feet and sat down next to his stinky dogs. I went one step farther, took off my shoes and put my feet right on top of his bag! I had had it with these asshole commuters and was forcing an altercation after a few pints of liquid courage. I waited and waited........ nothing! This guy continued to work on his computer and did not even look in my direction. I'm still trying to figure that one out. Well, until next time....... enjoy the ride!